Relationships before many technological advances didn't have interference from the giant social media platforms that are an integral part of our culture today. Arguments happened in person and were settled between the couple. There was no audience watching the quarrel and forming their own opinions on the matter. Commenting on pictures with their opinion on you and you're partner. Peaking over our shoulders to see what our partners are really looking at on their phones.
Today, there is so much to be insecure about in your relationship; sites like Instagram and Twitter provide a place to open up to the world. With a blank text box, one can write about however they are feeling and can connect with friends and strangers everywhere. No one today owns a diary, their social media is where they vent and talk about private personal matters, even issues within their relationship.
Social media has a huge impact on the millennials and their love lives. Will we still be able to trust our partner with all the people were able to access from social media? Is it worth the insecurity and the constant want to check our partner’s profiles?
Richard G. Jones, the author of Communication in the Real World, says that social media can insight a person with jealous traits to search through their partner’s media forums.
“As for relationship maintenance, social media plays a larger role”, he said. “Social media can facilitate surveillance (which can become stalking behaviors) of a loved one. Social media can also heighten existing jealousy.”
However, Dr. Jones does say that although social media gives people a place to search for infidelity, jealousy is a psychological and personal trait and social media isn’t the sole cause of peoples want to stalk their partners profile.
"Social media does however give people a tool through which to 'investigate' whether or not their jealousy or trust issues are warranted", he said. "And, if the person 'investigating' their relational partner is someone predisposed to jealousy or trust issue, because of personality and psychological traits, then they will likely find 'evidence' via social media that confirms their suspicion."
The investigation that Dr. Jones discussed is one of the largest problems social media is bringing to relationships. This need to snoop and look through our partners social media to make sure they're not "flirting" or messaging other people through their account is creating a trust issue. According to the Pew Research Internet Project, 45% of online 18-29 year olds in serious relationships say the internet has had an impact on their relationship and 21% say it had a major impact.
A 22 year old student at Saint Peters University was in relationship where social media was the ultimate reason for their downfall. She couldn't help herself from snooping and watching his profiles with all of the flirting and messaging he was doing on Instagram and Twitter.
"Social media was a huge problem in our relationship from the beginning and it played a part in why we broke up", she said. "He would be almost obsessed with posting videos or pictures and also there was a problem with acknowledging that he was in a relationship on his social media, like he would post stuff as if he were single, which caused arguments."
With all of the trolling on Instagram and Twitter, it became the central problem in their relationship and her confidence in him on his media accounts became non-existent.
"My trust for him would have definitely been stronger without media", she said. "But I'm happy that there is social media because that's how I found out everything that was going on behind my back."
Dr. Jones does note that monitoring and searching through our partners social media shows an unhealthy trust problem in the relationship and isn’t a sign of a relationship moving in a positive direction.
"I think if someone is engaging in that kind of monitoring behavior it is more likely to signal a problem with the person and/or relationship", he said. "I also think that if one partner feels the need to secretly check the other’s communication then it is not a positive sign of relationship stability or health."
Another major problem that social media has brought to relationships is personal matters being aired online. It is people, but also many celebrities that are fighting and arguing on social forums for all to see and comment on. With the recent drama with famous pop-star Chris Brown and his ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran, they continue to go back and forth with each other on social media and post pictures on Instagram with long captions revealing personal information and accusations and infidelity.
Chris Brown starts by saying, "I was locked up for damn near four months and only got one visit from you while you was hosting parties and going on secret trips to Toronto, going on dates with Drake", he said. "When this relationship first started you knew what it was and even participated in threesomes."
Karrueche Tran responded on Twitter saying, "N***** be in their feelings when you break up with them lol."
Chris Brown ended the bickering with, "I don't think social media is the place to air out or hash out our personal problems", he said. "So I am apologizing."
With many more comments, the argument lasted a few days and the whole time they never mentioned each other's names, but the world knew they were talking to each other.
We are the era of "sub-tweeting", when a person is talking about you, but doesn't mention your name. You know that couple your friends with that will go on sub-tweeting rants about each other when we know that they’re fighting with each other. Celebrities do this the most often, they publicly humiliate their partner with all of us commenting and retweeting, but don't solve any real problems and allow the public to see that they're having problems within their relationship.
Dr. Jones explains that communication about media accounts and how to respectfully use it while in a relationship is most important.
"I think it’s important for romantic couples especially to have direct conversations about how they use social media and their expectations for their relational partner", he said. "Couples should talk about and maybe even negotiate as their relationship progresses so that social media doesn’t’t become a point of conflict when a couple realizes far into the relationship that their expectations for and values regarding social media differ."
Social media is not the devil with red horns when it comes to your relationship and the problems within it. One can’t put all the blame on Instagram and Twitter, but we do see a lot of millennials and younger adults having issues with trust using social media. Being secure and trusting in a relationship nowadays is very difficult, but if social media is used respectfully and we can trust our partner is faithful on their accounts, the investigating, snooping, and sub-tweeting won’t continue to put a damper in our relationships.
Click here to e
Today, there is so much to be insecure about in your relationship; sites like Instagram and Twitter provide a place to open up to the world. With a blank text box, one can write about however they are feeling and can connect with friends and strangers everywhere. No one today owns a diary, their social media is where they vent and talk about private personal matters, even issues within their relationship.
Social media has a huge impact on the millennials and their love lives. Will we still be able to trust our partner with all the people were able to access from social media? Is it worth the insecurity and the constant want to check our partner’s profiles?
Richard G. Jones, the author of Communication in the Real World, says that social media can insight a person with jealous traits to search through their partner’s media forums.
“As for relationship maintenance, social media plays a larger role”, he said. “Social media can facilitate surveillance (which can become stalking behaviors) of a loved one. Social media can also heighten existing jealousy.”
However, Dr. Jones does say that although social media gives people a place to search for infidelity, jealousy is a psychological and personal trait and social media isn’t the sole cause of peoples want to stalk their partners profile.
"Social media does however give people a tool through which to 'investigate' whether or not their jealousy or trust issues are warranted", he said. "And, if the person 'investigating' their relational partner is someone predisposed to jealousy or trust issue, because of personality and psychological traits, then they will likely find 'evidence' via social media that confirms their suspicion."
The investigation that Dr. Jones discussed is one of the largest problems social media is bringing to relationships. This need to snoop and look through our partners social media to make sure they're not "flirting" or messaging other people through their account is creating a trust issue. According to the Pew Research Internet Project, 45% of online 18-29 year olds in serious relationships say the internet has had an impact on their relationship and 21% say it had a major impact.
A 22 year old student at Saint Peters University was in relationship where social media was the ultimate reason for their downfall. She couldn't help herself from snooping and watching his profiles with all of the flirting and messaging he was doing on Instagram and Twitter.
"Social media was a huge problem in our relationship from the beginning and it played a part in why we broke up", she said. "He would be almost obsessed with posting videos or pictures and also there was a problem with acknowledging that he was in a relationship on his social media, like he would post stuff as if he were single, which caused arguments."
With all of the trolling on Instagram and Twitter, it became the central problem in their relationship and her confidence in him on his media accounts became non-existent.
"My trust for him would have definitely been stronger without media", she said. "But I'm happy that there is social media because that's how I found out everything that was going on behind my back."
Dr. Jones does note that monitoring and searching through our partners social media shows an unhealthy trust problem in the relationship and isn’t a sign of a relationship moving in a positive direction.
"I think if someone is engaging in that kind of monitoring behavior it is more likely to signal a problem with the person and/or relationship", he said. "I also think that if one partner feels the need to secretly check the other’s communication then it is not a positive sign of relationship stability or health."
Another major problem that social media has brought to relationships is personal matters being aired online. It is people, but also many celebrities that are fighting and arguing on social forums for all to see and comment on. With the recent drama with famous pop-star Chris Brown and his ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran, they continue to go back and forth with each other on social media and post pictures on Instagram with long captions revealing personal information and accusations and infidelity.
Chris Brown starts by saying, "I was locked up for damn near four months and only got one visit from you while you was hosting parties and going on secret trips to Toronto, going on dates with Drake", he said. "When this relationship first started you knew what it was and even participated in threesomes."
Karrueche Tran responded on Twitter saying, "N***** be in their feelings when you break up with them lol."
Chris Brown ended the bickering with, "I don't think social media is the place to air out or hash out our personal problems", he said. "So I am apologizing."
With many more comments, the argument lasted a few days and the whole time they never mentioned each other's names, but the world knew they were talking to each other.
We are the era of "sub-tweeting", when a person is talking about you, but doesn't mention your name. You know that couple your friends with that will go on sub-tweeting rants about each other when we know that they’re fighting with each other. Celebrities do this the most often, they publicly humiliate their partner with all of us commenting and retweeting, but don't solve any real problems and allow the public to see that they're having problems within their relationship.
Dr. Jones explains that communication about media accounts and how to respectfully use it while in a relationship is most important.
"I think it’s important for romantic couples especially to have direct conversations about how they use social media and their expectations for their relational partner", he said. "Couples should talk about and maybe even negotiate as their relationship progresses so that social media doesn’t’t become a point of conflict when a couple realizes far into the relationship that their expectations for and values regarding social media differ."
Social media is not the devil with red horns when it comes to your relationship and the problems within it. One can’t put all the blame on Instagram and Twitter, but we do see a lot of millennials and younger adults having issues with trust using social media. Being secure and trusting in a relationship nowadays is very difficult, but if social media is used respectfully and we can trust our partner is faithful on their accounts, the investigating, snooping, and sub-tweeting won’t continue to put a damper in our relationships.
Click here to e